Magazine of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Hartford Connecticut
Friday, August 18, 2017

Father Joe Krupp

Dear Father Joe: My wife wants to baptize our grandkids in the kitchen sink. I think we should not interfere with our children’s parenting. What do we do?Dear Father Joe: My wife wants to baptize our grandkids in the kitchen sink. I think we should not interfere with our children’s parenting. What do we do?

father joe baptism july aug17Greetings in Christ! I’m glad you asked this question — in every parish I’ve been assigned to, I’ve run into this. It seems to be something many people are really struggling with.

I’d like to walk us through some of the teachings of the Church on baptism in order to help you. 

The first step I invite you to take is to break out your Catechism of the Catholic Church and take a look at paragraphs 1213-1284. That sounds like a lot of reading, but it’s not — and what is in there should be really helpful to you. 

What you’ll see is an affirmation of your desire for your grandchild, because baptism is a beautiful gift. Let’s look at what is accomplished in the baptism of a child:

•  The child dies to sin and is reborn as an adopted child of God.

•  The child will receive grace to receive God’s teachings and love into his or her heart.

•  The child “puts on Christ” in baptism. (Gal 3:27)

•  The child is protected and liberated in a special way from any evil power

.•  The child is set free from original sin.

When the baptism is celebrated in church, you’ll see numerous signs and symbols that back up each of these points. Not only that, you’ll hear the child’s parents make significant promises to God in the presence of the community that they will work hard to teach their child the faith. They commit to showing their child how to live out baptismal promises in words and deeds.

And that, my friend, is where the trouble with a kitchen baptism can come in. 

As Catholics, we understand a distinction between magic and sacraments. Magic in this case being the idea that, “If I do this, then the Lord has to do that,” or “If I don’t do this, the Lord can’t do that.” Magic is an attempted manipulation of the divine.

What we have as followers of Jesus is faith, which is different than magic. We don’t believe God is bound by our sins or the sins of others. We don’t believe that if we “do” baptism that we force God’s hand. When we celebrate a sacrament, we recognize that it binds us to keep our end of the deal in the covenant.

If we do a kitchen baptism, we recognize that God is going to honor the promises of that covenant and we also recognize that we are promising to teach the child to keep his part of the covenant. In order for that to happen, there simply has to be follow-through. We have to teach the child daily, through word and example, what it means to be a child of God. We need to teach him or her about our beautiful faith and how to live it in a fallen world. We do this to ensure that, as the child grows in age and wisdom, he or she is able to respond to the baptism and keep the promises that are made.

The short way to think of it is this: Jesus tells us that we are either with him or against him; there is no middle place. When we baptize our children, we are promising to raise them to “be on Jesus’ side” for the rest of their lives. If we make that promise, but fail to show them how to live that promise, we are setting our children up for significant spiritual failure.So, what do we do then? I’d suggest that, after the first step of reading the section on baptism in the Catechism, you talk to your kids. If you want, share this article with them (Hi, guys! Hope this helps). Share your hunger to have your grandchild baptized. Share your love of our faith. Share how your faith in Jesus and life in the Church has made your life better; how it has challenged and blessed you. If they still say “no,” ask if you can take spiritual leadership. Ask if you can take their child to your parish for baptism and then assume spiritual responsibility — taking him or her to church every week, to catechism classes, etc., until he or she is old enough to drive to church alone. If, after this, the couple still say “no,” then you must take this to prayer and listen honestly to what God wants from you.

To be honest, I can’t imagine a scenario where the Lord is going to tell you to disregard the parents’ wishes and do what you think is right for someone else. Among other things, consider this: If you unilaterally usurp the parents’ rightful authority over their child, you may cause a family rift with far-reaching consequences. You may find yourself without any relationship at all with your grandchild. Now, I always try to leave room in my heart for God, for wonder, for humility and for openness to God doing something unusual, but that’s the only reason I don’t flat-out suggest that I don’t think you should do this.

Do make sure you pray daily for your grandchild. Pray that Jesus protects this precious child and leads him or her to God.Pray that God softens the hearts of the parents and opens them up to the wonder of faith. As this precious baby gets older, share your love for God and the Catholic Church. 

Know this: The Lord loves your grandchild more than you or his or her parents ever could and he will lead this child to himself.

I will pray for you.

Enjoy another day in God’s presence.

Father Joe Krupp is a former comedy writer who is now a Catholic priest.

HART0617 round6 Page 12 Image 0001Dear Father Joe: After a natural disaster, I hear people who were saved talking about how they were “blessed.” Does that mean the people who died were not? Should we be using that word that way?


This is a tough question, because the answer more or less depends on the person’s intent when they say it. Let me share with you an incorrect way to use the word “blessed” and then an understanding of it.

Some people use the word blessed to indicate comfort, financial success, etc. This is simply wrong. Having our desires met does not mean we have been favored by God in some special way. Despite what some televangelists would tell you, God does not reward faith with worldly goods or even health.

Church history is full of stories about beautiful and holy men and women who suffered outrageous physical and emotional pain but who considered themselves blessed because they were sharing in the sufferings of Jesus. Many saints lived in poverty but felt blessed because they were poor, as Jesus was poor. In answer to those televangelists, I can assure you that there is no rational or true standard that would look at the life Jesus lived and call it financially successful.

So, if being blessed is not about our circumstances, what is it about? It’s about our attitude, our spiritual state. For example, when my mother died, a number of people came up to me at the funeral to say, “Don’t cry — your mother is with our Lord in heaven.” My response: “I’m not crying for her, I’m crying for me. Because I’ll miss my mother.” Now, don’t get me wrong — I also felt blessed in that moment, because I do know my mother is in heaven, and I know that I am loved by Jesus, and that he was with me in that moment. Remember, tears are not the result of a lack of faith but an abundance of love.

In the New Testament, when you see Jesus say the word “blessed” in your English translation, he is using the word eudaemonia. This is from the Greek for “good” and “spirit” and is often translated as meaning “human flourishing.” Jesus is saying that people of good spirit are blessed. There are long and complicated discussions about this in Greek philosophy, as well, that talk about blessings coming with virtue. If you’ve got a few days to spare, you can find out more!

Often, when folks say they’ve been ‘blessed,’ they really mean circumstances have occurred that make them happy. Back to the natural disaster: Certainly, the person who was spared is “blessed,” but so is the person who lost everything. He or she may not be happy — because earthly happiness means our circumstances prompted an emotion. Don’t confuse happy and blessed — I would suggest that when you and I say that we are blessed, we should be referring to our inner state. That is, we should be referring to our conviction that we are loved by God, and that, whatever our circumstances or situations, we are confident that Christ will bring victory. We know we are loved and saved by Christ and that this knowledge transcends any pain we may be experiencing. Or, it may be that we are in a place that we are simply striving to fully understand and embrace that conviction. It is then that we are blessed.

When you are feeling overwhelmed with grief or pain, you might want to turn to St. Paul’s Letter to the Romans, and his mighty words ringing down through the centuries:

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This has given me strength and comfort in adversity — I hope it does for you. Enjoy another day in God’s presence.

Father Joe Krupp is a former comedy writer who is now a Catholic priest.

fr joe violence may17Dear Father Joe: I am deeply troubled by all the violence around us. Why is this happening?

I write this article with a heavy heart.

We live in violent times. Some will say that things have always been this violent, and that may or may not be true. What is objectively true is that we’ve never been able to observe and process the present violence in the way we can now. Social media have, for better or worse, revealed our interconnectedness in a way that has never been possible before.

If you are like me, each event of great violence prompts feelings of sadness, fear and powerlessness.

Sadness, because people were killed.

Fear, because we seemed to be heading to a dark place as a country.

Powerlessness, because no matter how much we want this all to stop, nothing seems to help.

In this moment, I invite us all to remember that within our hearts is God’s very Spirit: that Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead.

Our problem is not a lack of power, it’s that we use our power badly.

After each act of violence, I see people storm social media in order to comfort themselves.

We see these horrid events as evidence that we are right and others are wrong. We hear of a tragedy, we learn of great injustice or horrors, and we immediately respond by wrapping ourselves in the warm blanket of our opinions. We pile on social media and fill public places with our opinions and politics. We seemingly can’t wait to tell everyone how these horrible events and those like them are the fault of this person, that person, those people or their politics.

We respond with our voices, and those voices become shrill. We respond with our opinions. and those opinions become doctrine that we wield to crush those who disagree with us.
And this is why it is getting worse. We have made this about what those people need to do.

But those people are not the problem that you are to address. Others exist for you to serve, not fix. To solve the problems of violence in our country, we need to address the core of the issue. And, to paraphrase G.K. Chesterton, I am the core of the issue. I am the problem.

I am the problem because I give way too much credence to ideological comfort and I give way too much room to sin in my heart.

I am comfortable with what I think. I like my politics. I’ve spent years dividing the world into good guys and bad guys. I have my team. How about you? When bad things happen, I know whose fault it is. This way, I am never challenged. I never have to reevaluate what I think or believe.

Sin? I tragically am much too comfortable with it in my heart. I’ve made friends with some of my sin. I’ve not been vigilant to what I let live and breathe in this beautiful heart that God gave me.

If enough of us embrace these ideas, and clearly we have, society becomes a loud, rage-filled and divided reality.

But today, I invite you to join me in saying, “Enough is enough.”

Today, I invite you to join me as I declare war on sin — not the sin in society or the Church or in this group or that group. No, I declare war on the only sin that I truly have control over: the sin in me.

Today, I invite you to join me in saying, “I was made to be a saint” — and to quit pretending that being one is impossible.

And we must pray. I’ve seen something in the last year that looks like this: A tragedy happens and someone posts that they are going to pray. Inevitably, someone responds by telling the person some form of, “Prayer is nice, but we have to act.”

The complete and utter lack of self-awareness implicit in a statement like that is simultaneously horrifying and comical. Of course we have to act. Our problem isn’t that we lack the conviction to act, the problem is we don’t pray first, we simply look for the quickest and most convenient solution.

Has anyone ever looked at us as a group and thought, “Gosh, those people just pray too much”? Our problem tends to be precipitous and knee-jerk reactions that don’t solve the problem. I suggest to you that prayer is the answer to that.

We will find that this internal war and this dedication to prayer begin to alter the way we act and live. We will push ourselves to be more loving, more helpful, more understanding and more forgiving.

You and I are to be holy. We are to purge our hearts and minds of the vile spirit of divisiveness and anger. We are to purge from our hearts and minds the hunger to appear to be right. We need to become obsessed, not with being right, but with being made right by God.

By becoming obsessed with holiness, we make God’s law a visible thing. God’s command to love becomes something others can touch when they touch us. God’s directive to love with all we have answers the prayers of the multitude who cry out and ask God to “do something.”

And so we will be saints. We will forgive. We will love. We will reconcile. We will challenge our thoughts and preconceptions. We will fight the darkness in our own hearts with the very power that raised Jesus from the dead.

We will be saints.

Father Joe Krupp is a former comedy writer who is now a Catholic priest.