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Archbishop's Desk

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  • Growing as a human person in the presence of God

    Last month, I was happy to join other bishops from New England for our annual retreat. One...

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Milestones

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  • Bristol native makes first vows as School Sister of Notre Dame

    WILTON – During a eucharistic celebration attended by more than 200 friends, family members and...

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Youth

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  • Northwest Catholic's freshmen come from 27 towns, one foreign country

    Members of the Freshman Contact program who helped the newcomers adjust. (Photo submitted) WEST...

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I went to a long and painful dinner party recently. The hostess either had a sense of irony or thought I deserved some temporal punishment for the misdeeds I’ve committed in life, so she sat me beside a strident anti-Catholic fallen Catholic. And then the fun began.

All night long, from the arugula salad with gorgonzola cheese through the roasted salmon and then the mixed berry tart with decaffeinated coffee, she went from one complaint about the Catholic Church to another, as if she were obsessed.

I would have preferred an evening of small talk about the weather, the presidential campaign or the Kardashians, but with this woman, it was nothing but business, and her business was trashing the Church.

The topics were all familiar ones – the nuns hit her with 16-inch rulers when she went to Catholic grammar school, the nuns in high school gave her a distorted view of God, the sex-abuse scandal, disagreement with the teaching on birth control and various other complaints.

She went to Catholic school for 16 years, so this gave her ample opportunities to grumble about the religious orders that taught at each institution.

"I go to the First Congregational Church now," she said proudly, "and I enjoy every moment of it."

She looked at me with intense questioning in her eyes as if to ask, "Aren’t you going to argue with me?"

Clearly, that was one of her goals – to provoke me into defending the Church. However, it was obvious there was no arguing with her because it meant confronting a lifetime of accumulated acrimony, and I knew that only grace and prayer could change her now. The Holy Spirit had to do some heavy lifting, and it was heavy lifting that only the Holy Spirit could do.

Over the years, I’ve met other people like her; and their bitter memories, which are usually exaggerated and sometimes justified, become almost obsessive.

During her relentless outpouring of venom, I felt as if I was being pelted with rocks. I was getting tired listening to her and wanted to leave dinner early or else turn to the woman on the other side of me to discuss something lighter, perhaps the national debt, but she was talking to the head of the local hospital about health care. I have to say the health care debate never seemed so inviting before.

"We’ve exhausted religion," I said, "so why don’t we talk about politics or sex?"

She ignored my joke and asked, "Why do you still go to that Church?" All night long I knew this was where she was headed. I was a practicing Catholic, ergo I was guilty.

"The novelist Walker Percy converted to Catholicism," I told her, "and when reporters asked him why he did it, he would always respond, ‘What else is there?’"

I saw anger flash across her eyes.

"What else is there?" I repeated.

She was about to go around the block again and repeat her many complaints about the Church, but before she could, I said, "I believe in the True Presence, I believe that the Eucharist is the Body of Christ and I don’t want to live without it."

She certainly understood the dogma of the True Presence after all that Catholic upbringing. The nuns had taught her well.

"I have my doubts about that," she sniffed. "I always had."

"I don’t."

"But I can’t believe that teaching after everything I’ve –"

I interrupted her and said, "Let me just talk for a moment," and she graciously shut up.

"Pray to be shown the truth," I said, "because if Christ is truly present in the Eucharist – and I believe he is – receiving him is about the most important thing you can do in life. Anything I say won’t convince you, but if you pray with an open heart, you’ll get the answer you need."

There was silence. She didn’t want to hear what I had to say. But Walker Percy was right – what else is there?

There are a lot of fallen anti-Catholics in the world, a lot of very angry fallen Catholics, people who are so spiritually debilitated by their frustrations that they don’t see the miracle occurring every day in the sacrifice of the Mass, a miracle that’s available to everyone regardless of their position in life or their financial assets or their academic degrees.

The problem with this woman and the rest of them is that they are so obsessed with the crack in the sidewalk that they don’t lift up their eyes to see the splendor and infinite beauty of the sky.

J.F. Pisani is a writer who lives with his family in the New Haven area.

Events Calendar

September 2014
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
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12:00 AM
Archbishop O'Brien Library , Bloomfield, United States
The Archbishop O’Brien Library will participate in a community-based project with Life Choice Donor Services, a non-profit organ procurement organization, during September, to raise awareness for organ [...]
Date :  September 01, 2014
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06:00 PM
St. Ann Parish, Avon, Avon, United States
The Social Justice Committee of St. Ann’s Parish in Avon will have its popular annual clothing sale from 6-9 p.m. Sept. 19 and from 8:30 [...]
Date :  September 19, 2014
20
08:30 AM
St. Ann Parish, Avon, Avon, United States
The Social Justice Committee of St. Ann’s Parish in Avon will have its popular annual clothing sale from 6-9 p.m. Sept. 19 and from 8:30 [...]
10:00 AM
St. Paul Catholic High School, Bristol, Bristol, United States
St. Paul Catholic High School open houses at 10 and 11:30 a.m. Sept. 20,  7 p.m. Oct. 8 and at 10 and [...]
Date :  September 20, 2014
21
11:00 AM
Archdiocesan Center at St. Thomas Seminary, Bloomfield, United States
Applications are being accepted for the 2014 Catholic Youth Spectacular (CYS), set for Sept. 21 on the [...]
Date :  September 21, 2014
22
12:00 AM
The Archdiocese of Hartford is participating again in the national Family Day program launched by [...]
Date :  September 22, 2014
23
11:00 AM
Wampanoag Country Club, West Hartford, West Hartford, United States
HARTFORD – The 22nd annual Archbishop John F. Whealon Memorial Golf Tournament will take place Sept. 23 [...]
Date :  September 23, 2014
24
06:00 PM
Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church, Hamden , Hamden, United States
Our Lady of Mount Carmel Parish in Hamden will have its monthly Pro-Life Holy Hour Novena from 6-7 p.m. September 24.The Holy Hour will include exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, pro-life rosary, [...]
12:00 AM
Hartford GYN Center, Hartford, United States
The Pro-Life Ministry of the Archdiocese of Hartford will participate in the international 40 Days for Life campaign from Sept. 24 through Nov. 2. The success of the campaign is evident in [...]
Date :  September 24, 2014
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06:00 PM
Holy Family Retreat Center, West Hartford, West Hartford, United States
"Know Greater Joy" is the theme of a Men's Weekend Retreat being offered Sept. 26-28 at Holy Family [...]
07:30 PM
St. Therese Church, Branford, Branford, United States
LYRA, an a cappella group of four professional vocalists from St. Petersburg, Russia, is returning to [...]
12:00 AM
Lourdes in Litchfield , Litchfield, United States
A Beginning Experience Weekend will be conducted Sept. 26-28 for divorced, separated and widowed men and [...]
Date :  September 26, 2014
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09:30 AM
Holy Angels Parish Center, South Meriden, Meriden, United States
MERIDEN – The Meriden-Wallingford Council of Catholic Women will sponsor a catered breakfast at 9:30 a.m. Sept. 27 at Holy Angels Parish Center in South Meriden. Guest speaker Deacon Thomas J. Davis [...]
12:00 AM
Lourdes in Litchfield , Litchfield, United States
A Beginning Experience Weekend will be conducted Sept. 26-28 for divorced, separated and widowed men and [...]
Date :  September 27, 2014
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01:00 PM
Polish-American Club, West Haven, United States
NEW HAVEN – St. Stanislaus Parish will have its annual picnic/harvest festival from 1-8 p.m. Sept. 28, rain or shine, at the Polish-American Club at 194 W. Spring St., West Haven. Polish and [...]
12:00 AM
Lourdes in Litchfield , Litchfield, United States
A Beginning Experience Weekend will be conducted Sept. 26-28 for divorced, separated and widowed men and [...]
Date :  September 28, 2014
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07:00 PM
Caritas Christi Center, Hamden, Hamden, United States
Caritas Christi Center will offer a New Life Seminar for the separated and divorcd from 7-9 p.m. on nine [...]
Date :  September 29, 2014
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