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Archbishop's Desk

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  • Growing as a human person in the presence of God

    Last month, I was happy to join other bishops from New England for our annual retreat. One...

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Milestones

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  • Bristol native makes first vows as School Sister of Notre Dame

    WILTON – During a eucharistic celebration attended by more than 200 friends, family members and...

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Youth

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  • Northwest Catholic's freshmen come from 27 towns, one foreign country

    Members of the Freshman Contact program who helped the newcomers adjust. (Photo submitted) WEST...

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cram_halfImagine arriving at the big game of the season. Your granddaughter is a midfielder for the high school soccer team, and she’s being scouted to play in college.

You breathlessly anticipate her entry onto the field. But wait. Instead of wearing the team uniform, your granddaughter runs onto the field wearing . . . a prom dress.

Huh?

Everyone in the bleachers would find this strange, and with good reason. Clothing counts.

Imagine enjoying a leisurely day at the beach when you spot surfers wearing high heeled shoes.

What about gym shorts at a funeral, or pajamas at a graduation ceremony? Would you show up for your big job interview wearing pink sweatpants emblazoned with "HOT GIRL" across the backside?

Clothing that is perfectly appropriate in one setting may be grossly inappropriate in another.

Why do I care?

Mass.

I can already hear the objections: "God doesn’t care what I wear." "God loves me just the way I am." "I should be able to wear whatever I want to Mass. What’s important is that I am here." "You sound like my mother."

Each of these statements is true. In a real way, our clothing does not matter. God accepts us just the way we are, in the same way that a parent loves his or her child no matter what the child does. Still, clothing does convey a certain respect or lack of it.

If you were invited to join your grandmother and her friends at a nice dinner, wouldn’t you dress up? Your grandmother will love you no matter what you wear, but that is not the point. By wearing a jacket and tie or a dress, you honor your grandmother. By wearing jeans and a tank top, you dishonor your grandmother, especially considering the generation in which she was raised. It’s all part of our society’s conventions.

The other reason for appropriate clothing at Mass is to avoid distracting other worshippers. Believe me, if a woman is wearing tight clothing to church, men will notice, and it will not in any way enhance their worship.

Thus, when I saw two women in skin-tight jeans and low-cut tops at a recent wake, I cringed. The death had been tragic, so it seemed incredibly insensitive for them to wear sexy clothes that drew attention to their bodies.

Likewise, when I see jeans, sneakers and even shorts at funerals, I wince. Will God love you, anyway? Absolutely, yes. But should we not be respectful to the deceased and the family? After all, that’s why we call it "paying our respects."

What we wear communicates a message, whether we intend for it to do so or not, whether we like the fact that it does or not, whether we agree that it communicates a message or not. And, in our culture, the wearing of nice clothes conveys respect.

A swimsuit has its place at the beach. A prom dress is suited for the prom, cleats for the soccer field, jeans for everyday life. And dressy clothing is appropriate for Mass.

Are there reasonable exceptions? Certainly, yes. In many places in the world, people have to walk for miles to attend Mass. Wearing finery, if they own it, must take second place to practicality.

A construction worker who attends Mass on the way to work would be completely proper wearing his work clothes. Fortunately, most of us have choices as to what we wear to Sunday Mass. When choices exist, I encourage reverence in both attitude and appearance.

 

Regina Cram lives in Glastonbury and is a freelance writer.

 

Events Calendar

September 2014
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
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12:00 AM
Archbishop O'Brien Library , Bloomfield, United States
The Archbishop O’Brien Library will participate in a community-based project with Life Choice Donor Services, a non-profit organ procurement organization, during September, to raise awareness for organ [...]
Date :  September 01, 2014
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06:00 PM
St. Ann Parish, Avon, Avon, United States
The Social Justice Committee of St. Ann’s Parish in Avon will have its popular annual clothing sale from 6-9 p.m. Sept. 19 and from 8:30 [...]
Date :  September 19, 2014
20
08:30 AM
St. Ann Parish, Avon, Avon, United States
The Social Justice Committee of St. Ann’s Parish in Avon will have its popular annual clothing sale from 6-9 p.m. Sept. 19 and from 8:30 [...]
10:00 AM
St. Paul Catholic High School, Bristol, Bristol, United States
St. Paul Catholic High School open houses at 10 and 11:30 a.m. Sept. 20,  7 p.m. Oct. 8 and at 10 and [...]
Date :  September 20, 2014
21
11:00 AM
Archdiocesan Center at St. Thomas Seminary, Bloomfield, United States
Applications are being accepted for the 2014 Catholic Youth Spectacular (CYS), set for Sept. 21 on the [...]
Date :  September 21, 2014
22
12:00 AM
The Archdiocese of Hartford is participating again in the national Family Day program launched by [...]
Date :  September 22, 2014
23
11:00 AM
Wampanoag Country Club, West Hartford, West Hartford, United States
HARTFORD – The 22nd annual Archbishop John F. Whealon Memorial Golf Tournament will take place Sept. 23 [...]
Date :  September 23, 2014
24
06:00 PM
Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church, Hamden , Hamden, United States
Our Lady of Mount Carmel Parish in Hamden will have its monthly Pro-Life Holy Hour Novena from 6-7 p.m. September 24.The Holy Hour will include exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, pro-life rosary, [...]
12:00 AM
Hartford GYN Center, Hartford, United States
The Pro-Life Ministry of the Archdiocese of Hartford will participate in the international 40 Days for Life campaign from Sept. 24 through Nov. 2. The success of the campaign is evident in [...]
Date :  September 24, 2014
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06:00 PM
Holy Family Retreat Center, West Hartford, West Hartford, United States
"Know Greater Joy" is the theme of a Men's Weekend Retreat being offered Sept. 26-28 at Holy Family [...]
07:30 PM
St. Therese Church, Branford, Branford, United States
LYRA, an a cappella group of four professional vocalists from St. Petersburg, Russia, is returning to [...]
12:00 AM
Lourdes in Litchfield , Litchfield, United States
A Beginning Experience Weekend will be conducted Sept. 26-28 for divorced, separated and widowed men and [...]
Date :  September 26, 2014
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09:30 AM
Holy Angels Parish Center, South Meriden, Meriden, United States
MERIDEN – The Meriden-Wallingford Council of Catholic Women will sponsor a catered breakfast at 9:30 a.m. Sept. 27 at Holy Angels Parish Center in South Meriden. Guest speaker Deacon Thomas J. Davis [...]
12:00 AM
Lourdes in Litchfield , Litchfield, United States
A Beginning Experience Weekend will be conducted Sept. 26-28 for divorced, separated and widowed men and [...]
Date :  September 27, 2014
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01:00 PM
Polish-American Club, West Haven, United States
NEW HAVEN – St. Stanislaus Parish will have its annual picnic/harvest festival from 1-8 p.m. Sept. 28, rain or shine, at the Polish-American Club at 194 W. Spring St., West Haven. Polish and [...]
12:00 AM
Lourdes in Litchfield , Litchfield, United States
A Beginning Experience Weekend will be conducted Sept. 26-28 for divorced, separated and widowed men and [...]
Date :  September 28, 2014
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07:00 PM
Caritas Christi Center, Hamden, Hamden, United States
Caritas Christi Center will offer a New Life Seminar for the separated and divorcd from 7-9 p.m. on nine [...]
Date :  September 29, 2014
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